"I pondered the direction of my life, and I turned to follow your statutes" (Psalm 119:59 NLT).
Have you ever driven down a road and realized you were lost, completely missed your road, and you feel hopeless, because you are not sure how to get back to where you need to go? It makes common sense if you have any church background that you are to follow God. But sometimes, we allow ourselves to get off the right path and begin following a road that leads us to no where. Ever been down that road before? Believe me, I have taken that road so many times, I know it backwards and forwards, every bump and turn and hate it when I go there. I am miserable there. Why is it that something so simple as following Christ for direction in our lives, can be so hard at times? I think the world offers up such enticing pleasures that we can get sucked in and trapped and miss the flashing lights that say this way to Peace and true happiness!!!!! That is what has happened to me more times than I can count. Today, this is my prayer... "Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul" (Psalm 143:8). I want to follow Christ. I want to know the direction He would have me go. I want to feel the Peace that passes all understanding to know which direction I should take, without winding up having to endure the bumps, and turns that lead to the feeling of being lost and without hope. I pray that we all can find the true place God would lead us... In Jesus Name.. Amen
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
God's Will
Verse for today:
God will always give what is right to his people who cry to him night and day, and he will not be slow to answer them. (Lk. 18:7 NCV)
The last few days have been difficult ones. I have spent a lot of time crying and in a funk. I have Praised God and the next thing I know, satan has robbed me of my joy again. I guess this is normal, I am not sure.
I have prayed a lot about the restoration and healing that God could bring to my marriage. When I read this verse today, I was encouraged once again, that He hears my cry and will answer me. Will it be the way I want? I am not sure. I know He gives us the desires of our heart, but I also know He looks out and cares for us in a way we cannot imagine. My marriage has not been the greatest in 22 years, that I know. There is a lot in me that needs to change, and a lot in my husband that needs to change. But are we both willing? I want what God's will is for my life, to be happy and whole. But I also want the good that we had in those 22 years back as well. I want my family back, whole and happy. We were the perfect picture of a family or so I thought, until satan took over. I am so angry with him. I am so mad that he slowly tore apart what was good, and what God had put together. I love my husband. I love him so much. I want that love to be restored. I am praying, and I know others are as well. But most of all I pray for peace. I pray that His will be done. That is hard, because I am not sure what the out come will be. Right now I am praying we could get counseling and remain seperated to work on our problems. I am praying for my children to find peace and not be affected by this anymore than they already are. Join me in prayer. I covet those prayers.
God will always give what is right to his people who cry to him night and day, and he will not be slow to answer them. (Lk. 18:7 NCV)
The last few days have been difficult ones. I have spent a lot of time crying and in a funk. I have Praised God and the next thing I know, satan has robbed me of my joy again. I guess this is normal, I am not sure.
I have prayed a lot about the restoration and healing that God could bring to my marriage. When I read this verse today, I was encouraged once again, that He hears my cry and will answer me. Will it be the way I want? I am not sure. I know He gives us the desires of our heart, but I also know He looks out and cares for us in a way we cannot imagine. My marriage has not been the greatest in 22 years, that I know. There is a lot in me that needs to change, and a lot in my husband that needs to change. But are we both willing? I want what God's will is for my life, to be happy and whole. But I also want the good that we had in those 22 years back as well. I want my family back, whole and happy. We were the perfect picture of a family or so I thought, until satan took over. I am so angry with him. I am so mad that he slowly tore apart what was good, and what God had put together. I love my husband. I love him so much. I want that love to be restored. I am praying, and I know others are as well. But most of all I pray for peace. I pray that His will be done. That is hard, because I am not sure what the out come will be. Right now I am praying we could get counseling and remain seperated to work on our problems. I am praying for my children to find peace and not be affected by this anymore than they already are. Join me in prayer. I covet those prayers.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
True Servanthood
Verse for today:
"You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature, rather, serve one another in love." Galatians 5:13
Have you ever met a true servant of God? I mean seriously, one who would lay their life down for you, put their own needs aside and truly serve you? I have. In fact, at this very moment, God has allowed her to share home with me. I am referring to my friend Lezli as well as her family. Under the circumstances, the kind of care I needed required much more than I could of gotten at home. So, Lezli took me in and I honestly dont what I would of done or how I could of made it without her. She tends to my every need, assists me in every way possible, takes me to my Doctor appointments, runs errands for me and truly her and her family are servants, just as Christ commands us to be. She and her husband Mark have taught their girls to be the same way. Truly servants hearts. Its rare that we get to meet someone who has such a heart of Christ and even more rare that we share so much of our lives with them. I am truly blessed to call Lezli my friend, my kindred spirit, and my sister. I love her and her family more than I can put in words.
"You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature, rather, serve one another in love." Galatians 5:13
Have you ever met a true servant of God? I mean seriously, one who would lay their life down for you, put their own needs aside and truly serve you? I have. In fact, at this very moment, God has allowed her to share home with me. I am referring to my friend Lezli as well as her family. Under the circumstances, the kind of care I needed required much more than I could of gotten at home. So, Lezli took me in and I honestly dont what I would of done or how I could of made it without her. She tends to my every need, assists me in every way possible, takes me to my Doctor appointments, runs errands for me and truly her and her family are servants, just as Christ commands us to be. She and her husband Mark have taught their girls to be the same way. Truly servants hearts. Its rare that we get to meet someone who has such a heart of Christ and even more rare that we share so much of our lives with them. I am truly blessed to call Lezli my friend, my kindred spirit, and my sister. I love her and her family more than I can put in words.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Why the Loneliness?
I have been thinking alot lately about how the future could be lonely for me. Divorced. Children growing up. Living alone. All things that can bring that feeling of abandonement. I have always hated being by myself. Even though I have siblings, I was basically raised as an only child, as my parents had me a few years later than the my brother and sisters. I hated being alone so much I created imaginary friends as a child!!! Once even making my mother pull over on the interstate in Dallas because I left one of my imaginary friends at the fitness club we had been to. I hate being in a house alone. Not that I am scared, just alone. I hate driving long distances by myself, so I usually talk on my cell phone the entire time! Last night, I was having some quiet time, (not alone time because there were several people in the room! LOL) And I came across this verse:
"God makes a home for the lonely; He leads out the prisoners into prosperity, Only the rebellious dwell in a parched land." Psalm 68:6 NASB
When I first read it, it was in a different translation, and it didnt make as much sense. It read like this:
"God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land." Psalm 68:6 NIV
I thought, now why on earth would God set lonely in a family? But when you read the other translation, it makes sensse to me. God will make a home for the lonely. Can you see it? He gives us His Holy Spirit as our comforter, as our peace. He brings prisoners into prosperity! I have felt like a prisoner in my own soul for a long time, and HE wants to bring me into prosperity! I dont imagine it will be as in making me a millionaire, although I surely wouldnt refuse it if He did! But I think He has plans that are much greater for me as I choose to spend time with HIM! Plans that I know will give me a future that He has created just for me.
My sister passed her life verse on to me recently. It is Jeremiah 29:11:
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
"God makes a home for the lonely; He leads out the prisoners into prosperity, Only the rebellious dwell in a parched land." Psalm 68:6 NASB
When I first read it, it was in a different translation, and it didnt make as much sense. It read like this:
"God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land." Psalm 68:6 NIV
I thought, now why on earth would God set lonely in a family? But when you read the other translation, it makes sensse to me. God will make a home for the lonely. Can you see it? He gives us His Holy Spirit as our comforter, as our peace. He brings prisoners into prosperity! I have felt like a prisoner in my own soul for a long time, and HE wants to bring me into prosperity! I dont imagine it will be as in making me a millionaire, although I surely wouldnt refuse it if He did! But I think He has plans that are much greater for me as I choose to spend time with HIM! Plans that I know will give me a future that He has created just for me.
My sister passed her life verse on to me recently. It is Jeremiah 29:11:
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
I like the New Living Translation:
"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. "
See, God knows the plans for my life. I just have to trust Him. He doesn't want me lonely. He wants me to share my time with HIM! I have found that when I do, I have hope, and peace that can only come from Him. Spending time in His Word again has been so refreshing. It blesses my innermost parts. It gives me the feeling that I am NOT alone. I have my Jesus right by my side. Sometimes He carries me, sometimes He has my back, sometimes I'm in His lap, but at all times He is with me and I am not alone. Thank you Father for giving me hope and peace and the joy that is beginning to return to my life again.
Friday, October 10, 2008
AWAKE!!
Verse for today:
"Everything exposed by the light becomes visible. This is why it is said: "Wake up Oh Sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine upon you." Ephesians 5: 13-14
I have been journaling for several weeks now, and was reading through some of those journal entries. This is a verse that spoke to me one morning when I woke up around 3 am. It was one of those mornings when I couldn't shake the sadness, and I couldn't go back to sleep. I began reading my bible, and read this verse and God reminded me how far I had come from Him and His presence in the past two years. When I think of this verse it reminds me of the song I sang as a kid, "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine..." That night I kept having this pity party and thinking how I just didn't know how I was going to carry on with life. How will I make it? How can I manage on my own? And then God reminded me. Its not by my will, but His. I was asleep for so long, dead to my sin, and had allowed satan to blow out my little candle! I prayed for His forgiveness. Right then, I began repeating, "I am a child of the King, I am a child of the King" and finally received peace and was able to fall asleep. The next morning I re read the verse, and knew that Christ was shining on me. I knew that He would give me the strength I needed to get through this time of my life. 2 Corinthians 1:10 says He has delivered us, He will deliver us, and He will continue to deliver us. Thank you Jesus for pouring out your unconditional love on me. Thank you for delivering me.
"Everything exposed by the light becomes visible. This is why it is said: "Wake up Oh Sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine upon you." Ephesians 5: 13-14
I have been journaling for several weeks now, and was reading through some of those journal entries. This is a verse that spoke to me one morning when I woke up around 3 am. It was one of those mornings when I couldn't shake the sadness, and I couldn't go back to sleep. I began reading my bible, and read this verse and God reminded me how far I had come from Him and His presence in the past two years. When I think of this verse it reminds me of the song I sang as a kid, "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine..." That night I kept having this pity party and thinking how I just didn't know how I was going to carry on with life. How will I make it? How can I manage on my own? And then God reminded me. Its not by my will, but His. I was asleep for so long, dead to my sin, and had allowed satan to blow out my little candle! I prayed for His forgiveness. Right then, I began repeating, "I am a child of the King, I am a child of the King" and finally received peace and was able to fall asleep. The next morning I re read the verse, and knew that Christ was shining on me. I knew that He would give me the strength I needed to get through this time of my life. 2 Corinthians 1:10 says He has delivered us, He will deliver us, and He will continue to deliver us. Thank you Jesus for pouring out your unconditional love on me. Thank you for delivering me.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Refreshing Moments
Verse for today: Psalm 147:7-8
"He upholds the cause of the oppressed and gives food to the hungry. The Lord sets prisoners free, the Lord gives sight to the blind. The Lord lifts up those who are bowed down. The Lord loves the righteous."
God gave me this verse tonight so I thought I wouls share it with you. I can honestly say he has provided food for me this week I had no idea was coming, let alone a place to stay. I feel as if I am a prisoner that has been set free after living in a situation that I considered love only to find out the love was lost by one party. The Lord has lifted me up and has shown me that I am righteous and He does love me!! How much more do we need?
So today I had some "me" time, Alli has been coloring and hi-lighting my hair the last couple days, and it is adorable. Today we went to a salon an had my hair chopped off!!! Its a messy, sassy cute look and it made me feel good!The best part is God loves me no matter what!!I thank Jesus for the unconditional love He spills out on me everyday. Be blessed today. Do something that will make you feel so good! You are a child of the King! Make him proud on the inside first then the outside! Love to all!
"He upholds the cause of the oppressed and gives food to the hungry. The Lord sets prisoners free, the Lord gives sight to the blind. The Lord lifts up those who are bowed down. The Lord loves the righteous."
God gave me this verse tonight so I thought I wouls share it with you. I can honestly say he has provided food for me this week I had no idea was coming, let alone a place to stay. I feel as if I am a prisoner that has been set free after living in a situation that I considered love only to find out the love was lost by one party. The Lord has lifted me up and has shown me that I am righteous and He does love me!! How much more do we need?
So today I had some "me" time, Alli has been coloring and hi-lighting my hair the last couple days, and it is adorable. Today we went to a salon an had my hair chopped off!!! Its a messy, sassy cute look and it made me feel good!The best part is God loves me no matter what!!I thank Jesus for the unconditional love He spills out on me everyday. Be blessed today. Do something that will make you feel so good! You are a child of the King! Make him proud on the inside first then the outside! Love to all!
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Crawling out of the Pit
Verse for today:
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise Him,
my Savior and my God. Psalm 42:5
I am an avid reader, and I love Beth Moore books. My sister was kind enough to get the book "Get out of that Pit" for me while I was in the Rehab facility for Physical Therapy. Some people know, (those really close to me perhaps) that I lived in a deep pit for most of my adult life. Not completely by choice, but often it was. I love and adore my children. I have spent most of my adult life trying to be the perfect mom. In so many ways I feel as if I failed because I put so much pressure on myself and not enough trust in God. Dont get me wrong, my kids are wonderful and such a blessing to me. Especially now. But because of the pressures I put on myself and the ones others were putting on me, I began to sink deeper into a place that was very far from who I really am. As I read "Get out of that Pit" I began to see how I had lived the last couple of years with a very sick heart. Proverbs 13:12 says "Hope deferred makes the heart sick..." I truly believe that is the lie that I had believed. There was no hope for me. I had failed, in every area of my life. Especially in the area I tried the hardest, being a mom and a wife. I had become someone I wasn't, neglecting my family and hiding from my real friends. Those friends who are my Christian friends.
As I continued to read, I was reminded of what Paul says in 2 Corinthians 4:8-9. He says that those who have the all-surpassing power of God in their meager jars of clay are "hard pressed on every side, but not crushed." We may be "perplexed but not in despair." We may be "struck down" but in the power of our indwelling Christ, we are most certainly "not destroyed". Beth goes on to say that Despair is not just sadness. It's not healthy grief. It is hopelessness. That is truely how I felt for so long. I put on a fake face most of the time and tried to pretend to be the happy Mom and Wife that I had the perfect home and life. It was just a way for me to make it through the day. What I wasn't understanding is that we who have Christ possess the very essense and the very embodiment of hope. (Romans 4: 8-9) Anything else we believe is a lie straight from the evil one himself.
Today has been one of those days that seem to come every other day or so, when I am downcast and sad. But the more I remind myself to Praise God, even in the trials, and to put my hope in Him and only Him, my Savior and my God, (Psalm 42:5) I begin to slowly but surely pull myself out of that pit.
My niece whom I admire so much, and has gained so much wisdom in the Lord, reminded me today to stay in His word and keep my eyes focused on Him. Pray for me as I continue to do that. I desire nothing more than to come through this closer to Him, with the Strength that comes only from Him, and like that of the heritage of strong women that God has blessed me in my life. I have an earthly Father who loves me so very much, and I adore him more than words express. I wish I could crawl up in his lap right now and feel the comfort that he has brought to me so many times in my life. But I know that my Heavenly Father loves me more than I can imagine and now my heart is broken and open to letting him work out all the hurt and pain in my life. Tonight I will crawl up in His lap and rest in the promise that He brings and the Hope that he assures me.
Peace to all......
Michelle
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise Him,
my Savior and my God. Psalm 42:5
I am an avid reader, and I love Beth Moore books. My sister was kind enough to get the book "Get out of that Pit" for me while I was in the Rehab facility for Physical Therapy. Some people know, (those really close to me perhaps) that I lived in a deep pit for most of my adult life. Not completely by choice, but often it was. I love and adore my children. I have spent most of my adult life trying to be the perfect mom. In so many ways I feel as if I failed because I put so much pressure on myself and not enough trust in God. Dont get me wrong, my kids are wonderful and such a blessing to me. Especially now. But because of the pressures I put on myself and the ones others were putting on me, I began to sink deeper into a place that was very far from who I really am. As I read "Get out of that Pit" I began to see how I had lived the last couple of years with a very sick heart. Proverbs 13:12 says "Hope deferred makes the heart sick..." I truly believe that is the lie that I had believed. There was no hope for me. I had failed, in every area of my life. Especially in the area I tried the hardest, being a mom and a wife. I had become someone I wasn't, neglecting my family and hiding from my real friends. Those friends who are my Christian friends.
As I continued to read, I was reminded of what Paul says in 2 Corinthians 4:8-9. He says that those who have the all-surpassing power of God in their meager jars of clay are "hard pressed on every side, but not crushed." We may be "perplexed but not in despair." We may be "struck down" but in the power of our indwelling Christ, we are most certainly "not destroyed". Beth goes on to say that Despair is not just sadness. It's not healthy grief. It is hopelessness. That is truely how I felt for so long. I put on a fake face most of the time and tried to pretend to be the happy Mom and Wife that I had the perfect home and life. It was just a way for me to make it through the day. What I wasn't understanding is that we who have Christ possess the very essense and the very embodiment of hope. (Romans 4: 8-9) Anything else we believe is a lie straight from the evil one himself.
Today has been one of those days that seem to come every other day or so, when I am downcast and sad. But the more I remind myself to Praise God, even in the trials, and to put my hope in Him and only Him, my Savior and my God, (Psalm 42:5) I begin to slowly but surely pull myself out of that pit.
My niece whom I admire so much, and has gained so much wisdom in the Lord, reminded me today to stay in His word and keep my eyes focused on Him. Pray for me as I continue to do that. I desire nothing more than to come through this closer to Him, with the Strength that comes only from Him, and like that of the heritage of strong women that God has blessed me in my life. I have an earthly Father who loves me so very much, and I adore him more than words express. I wish I could crawl up in his lap right now and feel the comfort that he has brought to me so many times in my life. But I know that my Heavenly Father loves me more than I can imagine and now my heart is broken and open to letting him work out all the hurt and pain in my life. Tonight I will crawl up in His lap and rest in the promise that He brings and the Hope that he assures me.
Peace to all......
Michelle
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